Observing ourselves gives us an insight into the fact that everything we know about ourselves is based on lies, beliefs, attitudes, on the processes occurring on that foundation, on reactions, nonexistent self-opinions, self-image, self-idealization and so on. We get to see that to see ourselves means to see the objective facts about ourselves, without personal prism or without emotional stand and without being attached to projected self-image. Observing this can cause various reactions, but you must actively remember that, as much as these seen reactions are not real, so are not the new ones which arise after seeing the lies about ourselves.
The most difficult thing is to maintain the process of observing without attachment. Observing without analysis, without criticism toward what we see, without feeling of guilt or wrongness. It is said, in some systems of the Work, that a man should be ashamed of the things he sees about himself. Yes, in some way, unless you take the shame too seriously for then it will become guilt and wrongness masked with the emotional feeling of shame. It’s good to ask yourself, who is that within me being ashamed?
Soon you will see that it’s the same structure as the one you’re observing, just glued to a righteous, perfected or spiritual self-image that awarded itself the badge of court, judge and jury.
This structure is no better than what it condemns, except for the role it assigned itself.
The emotional attitude and support for the process of observing should not be in the feeling of shame, but in desire, intention and in the feeling “I care about this” which supports observing and detachment (de-identification), with the goal of getting to know what you didn’t want to know and see about yourself.
Knowing thyself is not just in knowing the Truth of yourself. As a matter of fact, it means to get to know yourself as you are now, in this moment. It’s not in knowing some mystical self, because it only exists in a guru-spiritual-business. To know oneself means to get to know what is the expression of Truth within the lie or within what has been mistaken for the truth and acts the role of truth with you being the actor.
Clearly, no man with “common-sense”wants to see the truth of himself. That truth is devastating. It’s a fact we must admit to ourselves. Not to hide it, call it with different names, suppress it or show it in another also false, way.
“What or who are we?” has two levels. One level is the True that we, as we say, aspire to. The other level, the lower one, is one we’re running away from. Both are important for getting to know the Truth. You can’t go in one direction only, because you’re not one-dimensional being. Although many would want to be, because it’s easier or because only this side of the coin is being shown to them by “spiritual-religious” teachings.
The first goal of anyone who starts to work upon himself, who goes on a pursuit of getting to know the truth is facing the facts he doesn’t know about himself or doesn’t want to admit to himself.
A man doesn’t know the truth, but he can know the lie he lives. But before he gets to know the lie he lives he must know that he doesn’t know the truth about himself. What he presented to himself as him, supported by others and by so-called civilization, doesn’t have to be true and in most cases it’s not. Before he gets to know the Truth, before he meets the True Reality, he must face the false reality, an imitation of reality. It’s not reality, of course, it’s an imitation, but he doesn’t know about any other “reality” than that.
Anyone who says differently, thinking that false reality will disappear by itself while he searches for the truth about himself or what he presented to himself as “truth about him” (and it’s always about some artificial show), is lying to himself and doesn’t want to see the lie that bears his name, that bears the names of others, the name of the city he lives in, the name of the state he lives in and the entire planet.
Before we are blown away by Truth we must be blown away by realization of lies, images, imitations and what we fantasize about ourselves and also, by realizing that the truth doesn’t exist here nor is it in sight. We are protected from this even by religion, spirituality and esoteric. The False cannot be True. The False cannot create what is True. And Truth never creates the false. Consensual truth is not the truth. It’s something which is agreed to be the truth, such as the agreement of time and space measurement. When we understand that everything is agreed upon, even ourselves together with others, there is a willingness to get to know the truth about ourselves, about others, about the world and the universe. When we realize that everything we know is only a matter of agreement, even science that wants us to think differently, then the journey toward the Truth we pursue begins. Of course, if we pursue the truth at all or if we even want to pursue it after this insight and go FURTHER.