If the Teaching we accept is a way of hiding ourselves, that teaching has lost its purpose, for there is no one who gives Purpose to the Teaching.
I can speak of the fact that Spirituality no longer exists, that Religion is no longer there, that Esoteric is drawing its last breath, still holding itself tightly where it’s supposed to be, for nowadays every idiot exposes “spiritual realizations” and every fool is being proclaimed “awakened”. Why? Because Man has long-forgotten the purpose of walking the Path. That purpose no longer exists. You can say I am a pessimist and I will confirm that. You can say I am anything else and I will also confirm that, simply because I no longer have any interest in what you think of me. But the question I’m going to ask you is: Are you ready to see how fake you are? Are you ready to see the lie that continues to exist around you because you are supporting it? Do you have boldness to face the very Teaching that you practice and proclaim it as fake as you yourself are?
The foundation of Lie is Self-Deception and Deception of others. What does “self-deception” mean?
Self-deception is a term as any other which signifies making an effort in building a Self-image (False Personality, Ego) by a certain External source. In case of everyday man in Religious/Spiritual/Esoteric teachings, this means that he uses the Teaching as a way to build a Self-image with the purpose of lying to himself. Is self-deception needed? Can we find justification for it?
Of course. We can and it is needed. The question is, until when? This “when” is defined with what an individual adopts through a certain period of self-deceptive learning – wearing the teaching, terms and opinions as a badge, hiding behind quotes and imitating “enlightenment”, quest for the “truth” which always matches an image that one has or a projection that one hopes for – up until, if he has accidentally stumbled upon the True, it “clicks” in him and he asks himself all these questions. If he searches for something that popular teachings call “aha moment”, then it will never happen. Because this “aha” comes out of the image one projects on himself and the teaching. If “aha” is a direct seeing of Self-deception as a simple lie behind which one hides himself using even the Teaching, then we can say that this man made something of Himself.
Personality has a need to decorate itself with different ornaments so that in time these ornaments would become external exposure of internal void (not Mystical Emptiness). Over time, these ornaments take up most of the Energy from man and turns him toward the outer. Consequently the outer makes a copy out of it which covers up Personality with Self-image and Ideas that it (personality) had picked up somewhere and which maintain self-projection. By self-projection personality depicts the outer without noticing strange matches of the outer and the inner and the emptiness within man caused by them, if he is not in constant reflective relationship of the outer and the so-called “inner”.
The Teaching, however Real it is, cannot fulfill its purpose if it is being received by the False within man. The False must be seen and it needs to be understood that it is not yours, that it is not you and that you are worshiping the False Idol and praying to False gods. Only then can the confrontation with Self-deception and Lies begin, Lies by which we have developed our own self. Every Teaching is a Lie until that moment when Simplicity in you realizes it as Lie and renounces the part that searches for the Teaching and uses it for the False. Even if you received the False Teaching it would be a True Teaching if you were True.
In order to be True, Man must first of all realize that everything he aims for is a product of Lies within him. Personality which aims to “self-improvement”, which aims to new forms of self-deceit cannot receive Pure Teaching, because there is NO ONE there who could receive it. Personality doesn’t want to be Simple, Good, Open, Ordinary, True, for these are NOT ITS QUALITIES. These are the Qualities of Simplicity, Goodness, Openness, Ordinariness, Truthfulness, i.e. the Qualities of BEING. A Being cannot receive the Teaching as long there is a “shell” of Personality enveloping it and barring its contact with Reality.
“Shell” is a False Personality that surrounds the True within Man, and yet if Personality is not developed, you can’t receive the Teaching, for you again lack that which can receive it. False Spirituality or False Esoteric convinces you that you simply need to discard Personality as False and orient towards Being. Of course, you will get an Idiot who smiles and “understands” everything, but doesn’t have a clue about anything. If conviction of the False demands a development of Personality as a way of receiving the Teaching, but doesn’t contain development of Being as well, and if it doesn’t have anything to do with Consciousness besides the title “consciousness”, we are back to square one and powerless to do something with the Teaching we are receiving.
On the other hand, Personality can feed itself with the so-called de-identification and acceptance of the Teaching as the only Reality, and it can even invest effort in that direction, have these experiences, but that which had motivated such acceptance comes out of the human “specialness”, self-love and such. It can even give deeper insight, contacts with the Higher, Consciousness that is steady, strong enough and Crystallized, as we have an opportunity to see that with some, but motivation is wrong and thus, Crystallization is wrong and doesn’t lead to Liberation.
Once, during my training, when I was told: “If you invest effort into Awakening you will end up in Hell. If you don’t invest effort into Awakening you will end up in Hell”, it caused confusion in me and it I was unclear about what I should be focusing on. In time and Work I realized what had been emphasized by that. Understanding of that is found in a Balanced Mind and Self Awareness. Without it there is no possibility of Understanding that and to PRACTICE AWAKENING.
First of all, WHERE is this idea of waking up coming from? Where is this Idea leading you and from where comes the thought that is leading you toward the goal?
You are free to say that it is an intuitive orientation and I will respond that your intuition is a mere result of physical awareness that aims to happiness and comfort and therefore, through projection to something it “intuitively” gets a signal what to do and how to direct itself. It doesn’t go further from the body as you usually think. The so-called Intuitiveness is a simple mechanism of a body that serves its protection and support in order to maintain functioning of the cell level. Just as you have the feeling of existence and want to live, your body which is one big cell built from numbers of cells has the very same feeling. It has its own intelligence just as every cell within it. Your body is one Cell multiplied billions of times. What you call Intuition is Higher Consciousness for a cell.
Or you may say that you have “found yourself in some Teaching” which is even more ridiculous, because it was not you that had found itself within it, but personality which projects certain Ideas built on suppressed self-love by which you wish to be chosen and thus, you “find yourself in the Teaching”. What you have found is just a patch for a hole in you. Or it is hole that has found a patch. Nothing more.
If you do not know the Personality, it will fool you. If you know it then you’ll be able to avoid its traps. Hence the need for the Teaching not to be uniform, not to be received only with Personality or only with Being. It must be applied on both sides. On both Being and Personality. There is no serious Work until the moment when Personality becomes a Servant of Awareness and serves its purpose in a way of following an Impulse of Awareness and Being. But, even then, until final Liberation, Personality must be checked and controlled by Awareness in order to prevent it from imitating Awareness and from making decisions instead of Being under the guise of Inner Development and Growth.
To be Ordinary and Simple is one of the Goals of the Work. It may be a consequence of Inner Development, but it may also be a foundation for True Awakening. But Personality can also imitate Ordinariness and Simplicity. How will you know the difference if you do not know your Personality?
Therefore, the work must have three levels – Physical, Psychical and Spiritual, and within each of these parts there must be the Work upon Gyana, Bhakti and Karma Yoga.
If you don’t know your Psychological side and thus, your Physical reflection of your Psychological side, how will you work upon the Spiritual or upon Awareness if these two sides don’t work properly?
In many Teachings there are glimpses of these Truths and I say that these are Glimpses, because they are not total nor do they give total Development and Growth. They take the parts which are then being used by Psychological side which is not purified. Hence, we have various methods and ways of “quick” or “traditional” teachings that are promptly recognized as wrong by their consequences and background motives.
Development has a few levels and many of the levels include the very wrongness and falsity until they are recognized. When you come to know the False part in yourself and the very teaching as false, then the next level of Work begins. But it’s no longer the Work you were used to. It belongs to different rules. It involves Inner Silence, penetration into the depths of one’s own manifestation, both Outer and Inner, Understanding how the Mind functions, Understanding the Awareness that manifests and also the way in which it manifests, what serves this manifestation and whereby the manifestation happens.
There begins the Work upon Energy and Consciousness at the same time, the Work upon Mind and Being at the same time, but this time beyond limitations of Conditioned Mind, because it is being recognized by its own product which is Conditionality.
Preparatory steps must be done Honestly and with Clarity in order to reach the level where True Work is possible.
Everyone uses the same way of the Work, with slight finesse, same is with this Level of the Work, but Motivation and Goal are different. You understand that you, as a Personality – are Not and that as a Being – you Are. Also, a Being – is Not, for ONLY That IS. One who realizes this, but Realizes this with Himself, understands the difference between the Work in which you project that you are somebody, that you are the very absolute, god or goddesses and the True State which is neither god nor goddess, nor absolute, nor Mind nor Being. Awareness is purified and recognizes itself as a manifestation of Three Gunas and the Foundation upon which it relies cannot be recognized, because it cannot see itself. It is. When it Is, then Divided Consciousness or Awareness IS NOT. This knowing must be lived while facing everything that occurs as Inertia that still carries Psychological and Physical.
Yes, you are Brahman. Your Awareness is the Brahman Himself. And now what?
Nothing. You can wipe your ass with Brahman! Because, for god’s sake, it is also Brahman. One who Knows doesn’t consider Brahman as one thing and not the other. He doesn’t consider only Knowledge of Brahman to be Brahman Himself, since Ignorance about Brahman is also Brahman Himself. And who is this Brahman anyway? A new Mind game? In most cases it is exactly that. A game, a Lullaby for the Mind. A method of Self-deception, Self-deceit. For, when it really IS, do you think there will be someone or somebody who would know that he is Brahman?
Only when all Knowledge of Brahman, Gunas and Energies disappears, then you might be able to reach True Mistery. And you may also wipe your ass with Mistery!
Consciousness always perceives Itself, even when it watches unconsciously, mechanically. It is the one that Percieves Itself, because it is a Foundation for both conscious and unconscious. None or the other is truth.
Maybe you are emptiness? And with this Emptiness also – you know what you can do. With any kind of defining you can do the same as with everything until now. That is Identity. It can be “material”, it can be “psychological” and also “spiritual”, but it’s still Identity.
That which remains after you “see all of it as a foundation of Lie” is closest to True and you must live it. It needs to permeate every moment of your life. And this is recognized by your Flavour.
Deception is great until you are ready to see the very Lie of it. When you see Deception (Illusion) for what it is, you are on the right track to see yourself as Deception. Yes, that is your Nature. The very essence of Deception. Live with it, because only Direct Sight, only Samvid (Sanskrit: to see, to perceive; the very sight) can see the depth of self-deception. For, what is there to achieve anyway?
There is no self in Self-Achievement. Nor would you be any more or any less self. There will be no “self” when you reach THAT. All which occupies you now will disappear. Why would you free yourself from the most beautiful Dreams? Even from the Dream of Awakening? What you will see in the Eyes of Awakened one is Extinction, Dying out, Disappearance of everything. Like a Black Hole in Space, he absorbs everything into himself and nothing can escape. If you encounter such eyes, the best thing is to disappear without a trace. But I don’t think that will help anymore. Because, the process of Self-Collapsing has started. All you can do is to STAY in front of these eyes and Collapse into this Black Hole.
But, if Motivation for this is wrong and coming from your special Mind, collapsing will bring many things but not the Liberation. Most likely it will bring a new cycle, looking for others to feed on them, for you will be cut off from the source. You will be that what Esoteric Christianity calls a Man without Spirit, with all the qualities of Imitation of the Spirit, but without the Essence of the Spirit, without its flavor.
Self-deception is one of the biggest obstacles to Inner Work. Stay without your Teaching for a moment, without awareness, without a conviction that you are “gods and goddesses”, without self-protection with the Teaching and see for yourself your tasteless emptiness. Experience it and if you survive, you are ready for Inner Work. If you don’t, then what are you looking for in one of the Teachings? For a new self-deceit, new self-deception?
When you realize that the Teaching is also a new self-deception so that you don’t reach Yourself, then the Hell of entering into yourselves starts. You must enter it, you must Die and in the end you might be born again. Of course, you can be reborn before you Die, but then you will be a Man without Spirit. Death is certain in that shape, unless you feed yourself with others. You can wake up before you Die, but if you don’t Die, you will only live this life much better than others, but you’ll end up in it again.
Hence the above saying: “If you invest effort into Awakening you will end up in Hell. If you don’t invest effort into Awakening you will end up in Hell”.
Therefore, where does your Effort come from? Who invests Effort in some Work out there? Believe me, those who are deep in the Esoteric Work, if they ask themselves sincerely, they will face the Hell of Self-Lying. In the moment when self-convincing that you are on the right path starts, you are just on the shortcut to Hell.
What will remain after Confrontation?
Besides Inner Silence behind it, nothing will give result. And that will change your Flavour. You will become Real. For you will realize that “there is no one behind these eyeballs” and that the Goal you aim to is a “mirage of preconception”.
If you stay just a little longer, the heavens will be revealed to you. But, be aware. If you stay with the wrong Motive, the road to Hell is certain.
“If you are in Tantra for Tantra itself, then you are on the wrong Path. If you are in Tantra for yourself, then you are on the wrong Path. But, if you are here to unCOVER the Self-deceiver, then the doors of Heaven will open for you.”
A text can transmit neither Teaching nor Knowledge. A word doesn’t have the Power needed in order to uncover the Self-deception to the end. It can only be done by an Alive Man in front of you, and when he is in front of you he will be all except Someone or Something. He will not be an “alive man”, but an Alive Death, Complete Destruction and Extinction in human form. You will not see love there as a foundation of self-deception. Nor will you hear stories about Awakening as a method of Deceiving. What you will see is Absence that pulls you in and makes a Black Hole out of you too, one which will suck in all that you are now.
That is the Path, the Truth and That is Life itself.