A lot of the questions put to me and the comments I hear reveal that many don’t understand what internal integration is. What I mean by this term is the possibility of an internal unification, unification of what we consider as lower, middle and higher layers of a divided consciousness.
Pseudo-spirituality divides because it lacks understanding. Many “schools” or “teachings” have a crying need to separate the higher from the lower, which is in harmony with the false layer standing between the Higher and the Lower consciousness. They tend to create a false image of spirituality (which is why we call them Pseudo-Spirituality), one which is always in accordance with the false “I”, or the un-integrated, (un-unified), un-transformed personality.
An image of spirituality results from the need to protect the lower level of consciousness, our intimate emotion, vital emotion – The false “I” protects it from becoming hurt, from the new, from openness and honesty. It is a projection about spirituality, the opposite of what we’re running away from, the opposite of what we’re unable to integrate into ourselves. This same projection, created by escapism, requires the creation of a layer of falseness in us, the false Personality. False Personality lives the life, demands things, searches for partners who are harmonious to itself yet always finds the ones who are in line with the lower “I”, it attracts a series of non volitional and unfortunate accidents and acquaintances, influences our job, friends, close relationships. In the exact same way False Personality pushes us toward particular forms of spirituality that we like, and away from the ones we don’t like since they touch upon layers we want to block, hide, suppress. This creates pseudo-spirituality, pseudo-religion, pseudo-esoteric. “Pseudo” is unable to resolve the problem we have encountered while wanting to get rid of what is lower and stressed in us, which is why pseudo is as false as is the personality covering that layer. Still, we have to admit that this layer is real, in the sense that it is there and we are identified with it. Just as we have the lower, immature parts of ourselves, (called inner child by some and inner brat by others) and the higher parts (the divine spark, the real I) so we have this third layer – the one we are identified with, a layer we live every day and which influences our choices, directs us, connects us with others and creates the world we don’t want, or, sometimes shows us the world which we yearn for.
If we take a single part and separate it from the whole the missing part will obstruct the sense of the whole and the manifestation of wholeness. When pseudo-spirituality speaks of wholeness it speaks about the wholeness of a part it accepts, as opposed to the part it rejects. It speaks of making the accepted part, the idealized image of oneself, the false “I”, whole with the higher “I”, the divine. On one side we accept something, on another we reject, and to an intelligent person this is a sure sign that something is wrong, while the feelings of disappointment, irritability and irascibility in the background are telling us we’re missing something. But soon enough, the false part of us dismisses this and focuses on the “spiritual” in its search for a way out, so that step by step we suppress the layers we don’t accept, getting even farther from them. Those layers show themselves in the moments of life’s shocks but aided by various techniques and philosophies we escape them. Thus we come to the end our life and, regardless of our spiritual accomplishment – we must come back, because a part had not been integrated, wholeness had not been accomplished. We have rejected ourselves in favor of an image of ourselves, in favor of an idealized conception of spirituality – in the exact same way as those who are providing, passing on this spirituality, for they themselves had not been integrated. It’s a vicious circle and there is no way out.
There is no way out because we have separated, divided ourselves with a false idea about unification as an impulse arising from the lower, suppressed part which is aiming to unify with the other parts, or with the higher “I”. Being far removed from the lower we don’t recognize this impulse for what it is, instead we take it as an impulse of the higher toward uniting with the lower. The lower “I” withdraws, hides, feels ashamed, fearful, unaccepted and this is the legacy of our field of consciousness, one blocking any deeper self-actualization, self-knowledge or the manifestation of higher states. False I, presenting itself as the inhabitant of the body, the mind, the personality, takes over the lower “I’s” tendencies and imposes on us the idea of unification – but, unification of only those parts it approves of. It takes full credit for its spirituality, for the ability of sensing the Higher when in fact it is sentimentality, infantile love and acceptance combined with the higher aspects of love and the feelings of pervasiveness coming from the Real I. False I creates masks of spirituality, masks of love, of power or strength, masks of balance, peacefulness. The game is so perfect that a spiritual seeker soon gets eaten away by the false “I”, never realizing that he is solely responsible for the state which happened to him.
An authentic integration, one arising from parts of us that are real, is not a frequent topic. More often, all talk of integration reveals a wish to escape from the lower human nature which, when entered into, causes pain, fear, suffering and alienation. An authentic integration emerges from a crystallized consciousness which recognizes both the lower and the higher as its own manifestations. Although we may say that Higher I is this crystallized consciousness, right now I am making a distinction so that we may grasp all sides of this topic. As a manifestation of Soul Psychic Being creates the minds, therefore, Higher I is Psychic Being. It is not our Real Nature, as many think, but a manifestation of nature. Psychic Being or Real I is a manifestation of Nature which is a spark of Divine.
In its crying need to protect the lower, the false “I” creates a series of masks, roles, personality mechanism, but during this process False I forgets about the lower and pretends that that it is the sole purpose of life and the master of the system. False I creates the entire life according to the idea that it is creative, that it is the master, when in fact it is a reaction of man’s nature, a reaction of combining the lower and the higher “Is”. The false “I” is a reactive momentum, Tamah guna which, while expressing in a lower manifestation, may appear as all three gunas thus producing false sattva-ness, or false spiritual balance. In its play it can create a series of masks and combinations of masks, all of them being natural distortions of the higher “I”, i.e. of the divine potentials we posses as human beings. And yet, although those distortions are potentials of Higher I, they are also in contact with the lower because, essentially, there is no barrier between the lower and the higher. What seemingly separates them is the false, believed to be our human I. Together with the divine qualities of the higher I, the lower I – which had been inhibited through various measures of repression while growing up and which carries a record from the past lives – creates the false I as a means of self-defense. This false “I” acts as a seeming membrane between itself and the higher. Since it had been separated from its original function of protecting the undeveloped and un-matured consciousness the false “I” embarks on a life of its own, takes over governing us and, consistent with itself and with its nature, it directs all our aspirations toward the so called “higher”. Here is where the trap of pseudo-spirituality lies, where, if not seen in time, lie the traps of all “systems of liberation”.
Integration cannot be imitation. Still, unlike the higher and lower Is, the false “I” has no other means of learning other than imitation, and while posing as the master False I believes to be in possess of this ability. Through imitation it makes series of spiritual efforts which produce no result other than masks or distortions, appearing as manifestations of man’s Divine nature and of his Higher I.
God is the unifying principle, the Father of all.
Herein lies the secret of an authentic integration. Many think this relates to Father the Creator of the universe, but esoteric teachings are well aware they are not allowed, or able, to talk about this so they create parables with the aim of transmitting the Teaching to those who are mature enough to understand the symbolism of the sacred scriptures or spiritual instructions. If we look at this from the level of myth called Christianity it would look something like this: Christ is Higher I. Satan is Lower I together with Legion which is False I. Christ is our Real I, a projection of Divine Nature. Satan is also a projection of Divine Nature, but one which is separated, separate, one which believes in itself and is filled with pride, fear, one which is suppressed, immature etc. False I as Legion or the master of a series of personality traits (my name is Legion for we are many) protects Mr. Satan’s business ideas and as long as there is a Christ, as the potential of Higher I, and a Satan, as the potential of separate Lower I, together with Legion – integration is impossible. The original sin is Adam and Eve’s separation from the original state of the intellect and emotion through “believing in” the words of the “evil one”. Eve, pulled by pain, fear, suffering as a vital or emotional mind, and also by curiosity and desire as expressions of the vital mind, starts believing into separateness. Then, through intellectual vacillations, i.e. confrontations of “yes” and “no”, it persuades the intellect (Mr. Adam) to reject the idea of Higher Mind, Higher Nature, and bow down to dictatorship of Lower I.
In this myth God is the inclusive factor if we understand the process of inclusion. God is a possibility of wholeness, and also WHOLENESS ITSELF, provided the lower I is transformed and unified within the whole of Higher and Lower, as an expression of the True Nature of the Divine principle in man.
Integration is God’s very forethought, power and strength, given to us provided we had stopped dividing ourselves into parts which we later separate and make proud, vain, cast out (Satan), believing in his commands without question. They say this is a fight for our souls. It is. Soul is separated but not of its accord but because of its programs, samskaras, lower projections. Making the higher and lower one whole again is a re-unification of soul, it manifests soul’s true power, strength, love and balance. However, in a divided man the false “I” imitates all of this. You need to understand that the false has nothing that is its own, and all that it prides on belongs either to the lower or the higher “I”. False I is like a mirror covered with dust and distorting the true image, but since we don’t know this, it holds power over us.
Without Integration no idea of a higher destiny or of man’s purpose can be put to use. Man cannot return to the Divine separated for he did not leave separated nor was he created such. At this point I won’t be getting into myths and legends wherein true spirituality lies hidden. In order for a man to integrate the lower I, in order for him to unite the separated consciousness, the two sons (Christ and Satan), he must stop running away from himself and from the things he had repressed – he needs to open up to his lower I. Steadily working on himself, with awareness and acceptance, he needs to Integrate the lower I, unify it, make it one whole. They are a whole no matter how we look at it, they had never differed, but since we don’t live this whole, since we’re separated, divided within ourselves – the whole is our deepest potential, not a present reality, and we must reunite those two ends. And this means we need to examine the lies we live and call by our own name. Poetically stated – we are our own obstacle. The obstacle to our aspiration lies in the one who is aspiring, in our very “I”.
Our false “I” is a mask we’re wearing over the real and the lower Is. The false I has its own masks, its personality traits and sub-traits, its lack of self-worth, vanities, demands, complaints, self-will etc. As long as we don’t see it in this way integration is not possible. For its defense False I often uses a few traits that are so familiar we simply “flip out” when they appear. One of them is FEAR. It’s interesting to see how we projected a bogey-man in the very word for it seems frightening even to look at when written in capital letters. The other trait is SHAME. The third is SUBMISSION, created by the combination of the previous two and has them for its foundation. The fourth is false POWER. The fifth is false peace or CALMNESS or BALANCE. Love, Strength (Power) and Balance are Higher I’s divine qualities. But in this case they are distorted under the influence of an immature lower I. Lower “I” feels shame, fear, feels rejected, unable to express, feels a need to be loved and accepted, and in its immaturity it projects this on the outside world. False I is ready to step-in and creates three imitating traits, three potentials of the Divine, three distortions of its level: submission, power and balance (calmness). Since everyone around us is distorted, including the ones who present themselves as teachers of pseudo-spirituality, our false “I” recognizes the three distortions as something true within the spirituality it aspires to – and it leans toward such spirituality in order to protect itself even better and deeper. This is the state of affairs in today’s spirituality.
By becoming aware of False I’s basic masks a process of transformation and integration begins. When we see the lies our false “I” presents as virtues we realize that they are a cover-up for: deep-seated fear, hurt, a need to be loved and accepted, shame in case we express something more authentic. By a conscious refusal to bow down to those distortions and by bringing consciousness “down” into the lower regions of our “I” we begin an integration which is painful, filled with fear, powerlessness, shame etc. But there’s no other way. All else is building a house on shaky ground and you know what the Bible parable has to say about this. A house needs to be founded on a rock, not on a bad soil. (You can relate this idea with the parable about the four types of soil, the ground on which we plant the seed.) We need to enter every region of ourselves, into every part that is separated, scared, filled with pain and suffering, rejected, which feels pushed away, ashamed, and disheartened. And then, we will feel RAGE. Terrific RAGE.
If this rage combines with False I’s masks and its immaturity we will attack others, blame them, blame ourselves etc. In that case the Divine power expressed within rage loses its power and becomes negative, it assumes the aspects of lower vital or vital mind and throws us into even deeper regions of separateness. But if the rage remains pure, untouched, not directed at anyone in particular but a rebellion, a revolt providing pure energy – then we may use it for awakening, for integration, for coming back “home”. Sometimes we will feel immense sadness. But sadness is not a negative emotion, as it is interpreted; it becomes negative only if it combines with the lower or the false “I”. Rage is a reaction to the fundamental betrayal of self – a betrayal which weighs us down with guilt and wrongness from an early age and stands at the root of our inferiority.
It is a betrayal of the deepest self by which the lower and false aspects of “I” control a man so that he wouldn’t trust himself or ever embark on integration.
This is a rough sketch of our internal psychology, a rough representation of the whole play. In between all of this there is a series of traits, masks, false and distorted divine qualities, parts of the separated lower “I”. All of them need to be made conscious so that a process of integration may commence a process of deep acceptance of oneself, of unification of higher and lower. Self-responsibility is the first key for a fundamental integration because the responsibility impulse is a quality of Higher I. Seriousness, which we often confuse with responsibility, is lower I’s imitation, a distortion of the Divine quality of Responsibility. Projections on others, the shadow, is a reaction of the lower I. Many aspects of spirituality may be connected with this but it would take me a whole book. The essential idea of all this is to enable integration by way of acceptance, by stopping the fight with the lower parts but also with the false I – recognizing that there is no real difference between the lower and the higher and that they are separated by the false and immature Lower I’s part of consciousness. It is realizing that integration is possible only with a responsible approach of those few who are ready and mature for this confrontation.
This text is only an introduction to the process, not the technique or a means of integration. It is a pointer not a solution. Your intention, your responsibility, your maturity to face it – is the solution. And this is the first step in the Integration of the Internal. In case your PSEUDO personality (False I) takes over the role of “resolving” this pattern, PSEUDO spirituality is all you will end up with.