The first thing that a man aspiring to change needs to do is abandon old influences and impressions. To change my inner structure I need to perceive a thing in a way which is different than before. I need to rearrange my mind. The Mind is defined by its mode of perception since it always perceives according to convictions and filters building it. Therefore, the world around us is no more than the reflection of those convictions and filters. An aggressive man will find a cause for aggression or disagreement in just about anything, since it suits his conviction. He won’t be able to hear something in a way that is new, different to his conviction. This is apparent in many people within various teachings who don’t even follow, let alone practice what the teachings say, but seek confirmation of their convictions. This is a function of a mind wanting to preserve itself in the state it has been the whole time. “Emptying your cup” has many levels of meaning, one of them being emptying yourself of convictions, influences you are used to and which gained you nothing, other than perhaps mental satisfaction, your aggression, your convictions. This is not change-material, a man who is able to change. Change starts with changing the internal and the external surroundings. It is not something grand and it doesn’t come all at once. It means starting small, with something ordinary, simple, with the aim of convincing yourself that this works. It is giving yourself enough time to decide whether you want to go in this direction or not; whether you’re being honest with yourself or it’s just a product of some conviction which isn’t even yours and which you had accepted, or is simply “in vogue”. If you had decided to change, then change. Discard all which holds you back, which pulls you back into old surroundings, old internal space. Many will try to keep you where you are, mould you according to their filters and convictions since you used to fit the vibration they still want, cherish, and maintain. Stop maintaining these convictions, influences and impressions. This is the first step. The second is: let them go. But FIRST let them go WITHIN YOURSELF. Don’t hold others back on the inside. As you decide and do internally so the external will follow. This means you must STOP THE OLD MANNER of REACTING to them, to convictions and vibrations which are WITHIN YOU. Afterwards, the external world will reflect your new state. Many will get offended by this, but what does it have to do with you? Many will give you advice, but what does it have to do with you? They will get angry, try to limit you onto the convictions and attitudes they are keeping alive within themselves, but what does it have to do with you?
Do you love yourself more than others?
Don’t fool yourself thinking you’re able to love others more than yourself. You love others only when you LOVE YOURSELF. If you love yourself, and you love others – let them go. Don’t react to their inputs in the way that you did. Stop the cycle of reactions within yourself. Start LIVING what you had set upon living: this New Self, the new life which had discarded all specks of the old self, the old man. Leaving others DOESN’T MEAN JUDGING THEM. It means LEAVING them as if they had never even existed. As long as they exist within you, as long as old situations and old reaction exist in you – you have not abandoned that which keeps you in place. Leaving doesn’t mean an Imitation of leaving or leaving merely on the surface. Leaving is a profound understanding that you don’t need this anymore. Do you need the pain and suffering you have been feeling for so long? Do you need the involuntary wallowing in unhappiness, in powerlessness? If you don’t, then why are you still here?
Understanding this is what enters you deeply, takes up space, exists, becomes you. Its Being You then acts on the external world of shadow, the world of projection. To be aware, to be Be-ing is to KNOW what you no longer need; know what you do need to move forward; know that you’re not this personality which has been pressuring you, surrounding you with this life, the people who fit this life and personality, the impressions and imprints. Knowing this, UNDERSTANDING this is ESSENTIAL.
Going towards yourself is a CLEAR KNOWING of what it is that you WANT; it is HAVING A CLEAR GOAL which leads you to this self. Define this within yourself and once it is defined START doing, feeling, thinking, living so. Gradually, you will come in touch with those who are able to help you, motivate you, those who have similar goals as you, who have the Knowledge you need. This might be the hardest step in the Work, for it discards all you were till then. It isn’t about suppressing. It is about deciding what it is that you want, what it is that you aspire to, what it is that you Are (or ought to be).
I’m not talking about rejecting people or the world but about transforming the self WHICH IS THIS WORLD. Change yourSelf and everything around you changes. This is the basis. If you are “two-souled” you will have a “two-souled” world. If you are “one-souled” you will have a “one-souled” world. It doesn’t mean you’ll be lacking something or that something will be taken from you. It means that what is not you will perish and what you are will remain. The Work on oneself means FIGHTING FOR ONESELF, but that self needs to be found first. The origin of THIS PERCEPTION which you are having RIGHT NOW, is where it is to be found. When you find it, feel it, make it conscious, then – LIVE IT, Act from it, think from it, feel from it. You will bump into parts of you which will put up a fight, sabotage your movement, and that’s good. Those parts are coming out. You mustn’t hate them or be in conflict with them, but accept them, understand why they are doing this and NOT GIVE UP on the goal which you had set upon, not give up on the Self to which you are going. Least of all you are to sit between two stools (be two-souled).
Fill the day with yourSELF, with the feeling of self. Feel what you want to be and BE IT. Not just on the surface, in a superficial imitation as is done by many on the spiritual path – but deeply. This is why you are required to be clear, to know what you want, where you wish to arrive.
So much for that.