“There is nothing like death. Death is the best thing that can happen in life; but most people die so late and take such an unmerciful time in dying, God knows, their neighbor never see them rise from the dead.” – Blake
To decide for a change means to die for what was until then. This is the Death of which Blake speaks. Change cannot come until that what needs to be changed is “alive”. Yet, to call something Alive means that it is Conscious. Personality is not alive, and neither are its parts. They are the dead in a man which is feeding on what is alive, on what a man calls his soul, being, consciousness. When we decide to change ourselves, the most difficult thing is to die. We are afraid of the death of personality, its parts, just as we are afraid of the day when this body will die, although we don’t know what that means, we don’t know what that experience is like. They say, “death is a transformation”, but they don’t die. They speak of death as of a friend they have never met. If you are dying every day, dying to what you were and for what you want to be, then the fear of death diminishes. Beautiful postulates of death spoken by the mortal that considers itself alive mean living without knowing that what we are living is the death itself. We are dying slowly until the day when this body and mind will finally die. Maybe we will be in fear, panic, expectations of a new life, a better or a wiser one, but we will die regardless of our expectations, regardless of fear and panic. That what was dead for several decades will die. “We will not die” – and this is not a spiritual postulate. We will not die. For there were no us. If there were no us, how can something which never were die?
Many say that this is their last life, and they really don’t understand that this is their last life. They are just bragging about their imaginary achievements. They do not know, for real, that this is their last life. That what they are today will never live again, for it is dead, unreal, and that what could live will not, for it never even lived. Only what is dead within us wants to live. What is alive doesn’t want to live for IT IS ALIVE. It is not scared, in panic, it doesn’t expect, because it doesn’t know anything else but life itself. However, that which knows the death within us expects to live; it’s afraid of not living, it’s frightened by its own nature, which is death.
If we want to change the state of consciousness, we must die as that which was before that state. Two things cannot be in the same place. There can be us which is life or other “us” which is death. Which do we choose? What are we defined by? I can shift to another state of consciousness only when this state of consciousness dies. If I want a habit to disappear, then it must die in order to make space for something that is not a habit, a mechanism, for something that is not old, but new. If I want to be a New Man, a Conscious Man, then this old one must die. What is stopping us from turning our back to the old, from letting it die, for we could resurrect being born from Above?
I know what I want to be, and I know I already am that now. However, the evidence which shows that I cannot be that now, in this moment, proves that I am afraid of death; death of that which must disappear in order to live this new self, so that What I Am can be That Which I Am Now.
Choose a habit, a behavioral pattern, a personality mechanism which repeats continuously, a small trait to begin with – and burry it. Give it recognition it deserved until that moment, because it served that which will be born out of it, that which will be raised up from the rubble of death. Burry it so that no one can ever find its grave. And then resurrect, become reborn, but from the Above, from the deepest feeling of Self, from the feeling of Existence; and instead of habit, of mechanism, of personality part, be CONSCIOUS, be PRESENT, be the NEW SELF, CONSCIOUS SELF, AWAKE SELF. Then the neighbor will witness your death and rebirth, then he will see you raised from the grave. Don’t let yourself be dying all of your life. Find something you doubt about, something small, something you still haven’t let go from yourself, because you are afraid of what your life will be without it. First, understand that what you’re afraid to let go isn’t life, for life is not afraid. Only death is afraid. Decide to let that go. Decide to die to that personality trait and to be born again with a new one, more conscious, more useful one. Leave that trait, bury it. What did this doubt bring you except the doubt itself? Did it change something, did it defend you, did it bring something good? What is the opposite of this doubt? What is the opposite of self-doubt? Of doubting the world, the life, the Absolute? What is the opposite of this small suffering that you suffer every day?
Face the moment of death of this small suffering, or of some small fear, for as many hours you need, and then let it die. Just don’t let it resurrect, don’t let it get out of its invisible grave. Only that which is Alive can exit the grave, that which is Trust, that which is Surrender, that which is Conscious, that which is YOU, the REAL YOU.
Dying is a creativity, an art. You might be creative in your life, but you’re still not creative in your death. Die for something every day. Maybe you will go through a few incarnations of dying to this habit, to this fear, mistrust, doubt, mechanism, but in the end it must die. Learn this art of a small death so that one day you can die completely and be born as a New Man, as a Conscious Being, as a Being that reflects God within him.