If you have decided for something called „Waking up“ from the dream in which you have spent your whole life, and if the nightmare has become so deep (and obvious) even when it looks like a pleasant dream, than you have to forget about the man who you used to be before that decision.
Many teachings have something which is called „Initiation“. However, to this mystical aspect people in dream often give significance that it doesn’t have, they attach meanings of no real significance to it. Such attributes are given by people in dream. Why? Because of the force, or the law, which is called fantasy or imagination. Fantasy or imagination is the basis of dream, the ground on which the dream is sustained, prolonged, the ground that provides meaning, strength to the dream. This is the foundation of your personality, the foundation of your life, of the dream that you are dreaming, of that which I would call „the old man“. Fantasy is a made up fact in which you believe, which is grounded in your beliefs, in not „knowing“ things, in your likes and dislikes, in imagination which ascribes a stream of imaginary, non-existing false facts whose purpose is to strengthen your personal beliefs; your notion of self, or self-image (the so called “ego” of spirituality), the image you have of others and the world around.
If, by any chance, you have been studying this form of lying, then you should have noticed that the whole world is based on fantasy, or in other words, on manipulating with events seen from a personal point of view and given all sorts of interpretations, interpretations which aim to deceive and manipulate and are always in accordance with certain likes and dislikes, and in accordance with specific aims of those people who manipulate unconscious men. Insubstantial fear, holding mankind in constant fear by projecting real and false events, maintaining tension on purpose with the aim of keeping up the manipulation of men, and a whole specter of ways in which negative states are being imprinted into man – all of this is possible because man is ruled by this specific lie, untruth or fantasy.
Neither is the so called “positive” free from this fantasy, and spirituality least of all. Usually we would say that fantasy, that a lie is negative and that it manipulates us by our negative emotions, moods and mental concepts. The Truth is, fantasy manipulates all aspects of man’s life. It manipulates his personal world-view, his self-image, his image of other people, his family and personal relations, love relationships, friendships, his free-time, his work. Fantasy manipulates man’s idea that he is already awake, or even fully awakened, that he is free, it manipulates by ideas of man’s greatness and importance in the universe, etc. When you are under influence of fantasy, as the basis of your personality, you cannot expect any part of you to be true, authentic or permanent. This is the reason why ancient teachings called this world and man, the illusion, the dream in which man dreams of himself and of others, dream in which he believes, in which he lives, gives birth to children, and dies in that dream in the end. The basis of dream is fantasy, lying, justification, false perception of oneself; of others and the world, belief in that which does not exist, projection on other people and the world around us, negative and positive emotions which are dependent on one another and on the extremes in which they are born, the ideas in which one believes, or is assured in, the attitudes which one has, etc.
As long as one doesn’t question the truth of himself, the reality of one’s foundation, as long as one doesn’t question the truth of what one believes in, the truth of what one wants, what one is prepared to sacrifice, one’s own likes and dislikes, one’s way of seeing the world and self, etc., one will be unable to grow up, to become a mature human being ready to “conquer” freedom, awakeness, authenticity. The step in which he starts to doubt everything that has been served to him as “normal”, “everyday”, “human”, “emotional-mental” is the step which leads to something called initiation. Initiation is nothing special, mystical or glorious, as you’ve been convinced by those in dream. It is an act of affirming your readiness to change the person you have been till that moment, readiness to cast off the belief in illusionary personality, so called self which you have been living so far. This explains why you receive the so called spiritual name. It means you made a step towards that which the spiritual name represents, towards that conscious being, mature and awake being standing as a potential behind your personality. Initiation stands for initiating that process. The person who initiated you is someone who is freed from the influence of the dream, who has disengaged from fantasy or is still in that process but is partially freed from the dream. Initiation is an act of affirming the willingness to get out of the dream, to abandon the illusion of self that you had until then. It is the act of discarding the old man, the person you used to be.
With that act you are saying you are ready to question everything. Starting from yourself, from the world around you, up to all ideas, concepts and beliefs you have or had. One of the things we are questioning is lying and fantasy. By questioning we realize that in most cases we are ruled by fantasy and lie. We do not know ourselves – we have beliefs, attitudes, concepts and ideas about ourselves. We do not know the world and other people – we have beliefs; attitudes, concepts and ideas about the world and other people. This is a devastating fact which leaves hardly anyone standing on their feet. Everything we have thought, have been convinced in, had an idea about was just a product of our dream, of deep sleep in which we are dreaming about us, others, universe. That is the moment in which initiation has its true weight, significance. New consciousness, new being, must wake up and give up the old man and the old personality. With this we are casting away our wonderful spiritual personality, the so called spiritual ego we have created under the infulence of our self-image and our image of spirituality, because everything that has been created under that universal force of illusion must be discarded. You can’t cast aside only what you dislike, and this is something most people do. You have to cast aside everything that comes from your old self, everything that your old personality has gained, all her ideas, beliefs, attitudes, knowledge etc. It is clear that you won’t be able to do this all at once, and that you will need to put a lot of effort and hard work to mature, to become conscious, to become aware of those aspects of yourself, while constantly fighting for consciousness, effort to cast aside everything that is pooling you back into your dream and to your old self. It’s illusionary to think that you can remain as you are, that you can keep something you like about yourself and be born again as a new being, as a conscious being. All that remains un-examined or unconscious follows you every step of the way towards maturity, toward Awakeness. Because, while you are crystallizing and strengthening yourself, your consciousness, what you hadn’t separated from becomes strengthened too.
Therefore, the first step given to a man who enters into something called Work on Oneself is division into two parts. Although spirituality talks about unity and the need to become one – however this means not only one with some imaginary divinity in “heaven”, but one within self – you have to divide yourself in two in order to free yourself from the old self, from the old man. That wonderful idea of the somnambulists, of the sleepwalkers, about unity with the imaginary, with fantasy in which they believe, has nothing to do with the truth and the reality. There can be no unity of “the old man” with something which surpasses him and transcends him in every way possible. That which you like about yourself is not that which can be in unity with universe, while the rest of you, the parts that you don’t like, is pooling you down to the bottom of the ocean in which you are swimming. That is a fantasy. Old man is a creation with no contact with the spirit. The so called “Man without the soul” as conspiracy theory somnambulists would say. “Men without soul” is not some kind of people who lack what they call “soul”, and by the way, I still haven’t found anyone who gave the exact meaning of “soul”. “Man without the soul” or man without connection with the spirit, and “Man with the soul” or man connected with spirit are not two different men at all, they are two parts of yourself. Your personality has no connection with the spirit, your essence has connection with the spirit. This story from the Bible, this pre-adamic and adamic man are not two different men, they are two different parts of you. Within the world of dream this idea is being wrongly interpreted as two beings created in a different way. As every inner idea has connection with the outer world this one has too. It is clear that people with a dead essence are people with no connection with the spirit and those men rule the world. When a somnambulist receives an accurate idea he soon turns it into something somnambulistic. Because creation of the world that surrounds you cannot be different from you – the contrary is a fantasy of the “old man”. This is the reason why we say you must divide yourself internally in order to become aware of that which has no connection with the spirit, of that which you were up to that moment. The fight for oneself (The Work on Oneself) begins with this step.
One thing I could say to the man who has started to mature, to awake from the dream, is “you got it all wrong”. Spirituality was not made to keep you in the dream state, but to awaken you, which is not the case in the world around us. However, it has been sad that that which has the power to awaken us has the power to put us into even deeper sleep. It all depends which part of you has received the idea, or the seed, like in the parable of good soil in the Bible. The soil must be prepared, which doesn’t mean that the soil of the man who has started to work is already prepared. You were not born ready. This is yet to be done and to think otherwise is a fantasy, a lie used by your old “I” in order to put you to sleep. “Preparation of the soil” begins with “separating the wheat from the chaff”, like it was sad in another parable of the sacred scriptures, and not only in The Bible but also in others. Because until you have separated everything within yourself in the “field of Kurukshetra“, in the internal field of self, and until you gave up your old family and gave yourself to ideas which are useful, you can’t prepare the soil for true work on oneself. This is the basic step. And that means you need to be aware of the old man within you and identify with him no more. This will not be easy, because “old man” will be constantly pooling you back. Unconsciousness of that man will be constantly following you until you mature and until you realize, completely, what he is, whose product he is, from whom and from what he was made from.
“Know thyself” means coming to know this very man, while “nothing in excess“ means not taking sides when the old man does, because “the road to hell is paved with good intentions”, or in the words of the oracle of Delphi “make a pledge (identify) and mischief is nigh“. These tree laws are literally talking about a man who divided himself in two: the “old man” that he is becoming aware of and the “new man” that is consciousness. The “new man” must be crystallized, of this I will talk about in the next text. Crystallization can happen only on something which is Alive in you, and that is your consciousness. On the part separated from the “old man”. But if you associate this “old man” only with those parts you don’t like, the crystallization will be defective, the part which is to become the “new man”, which is to become crystallized as consciousness will be the wrong part so the crystallization will be wrong, because “many snares are in the way “. When the “old man” dies because of the Work on Oneself, you are being born again and that is the symbolism of “Christ’s sufferings”. The “old man” had died and the “new man” has been born. But the “new man” cannot be born until you became Awake, a conscious being.
“Conscious being” is only an expression, because in that conscious state there is no idea about any kind of “being”, any kind of “man”, any kind of “I” in you. This is the reason why we didn’t say “conscious personality”, but conscious being.
The Path starts with dividing (separating), and it ends with the unity of the whole structure sustained by non-identified consciousness. From an illusionary “one”, through internal division and work on oneself to the true unification. Though, we didn’t say with whom or with what. Anything you attach to this process is your own fantasy, one based on security, on a wish to know the destination, fantasy wishing to survive and inventing all kinds of scenarios based on its beliefs, convictions, attitudes, ideas and concepts it is using to protect itself. To remain unguarded, to remain in a state on not-knowing – “I know that I know nothing” – to remain conscious of oneself and of one’s consciousness, but also separated from what you are becoming conscious of, begins with separating the “old man” from the “new man”. This is the foundation of any serious work on oneself.
The “old man” must die and its process of dying is called Work on Oneself. But on WHICH self? – that is the question. This is what all ancient traditions, all teachings, all techniques, all the ways and advice that we received are talking about. This is the beginning, the first step in what we call the Way toward the Fully Awakened, Liberated Being – not man.